Childhood friend

My best friend from childhood is visiting from Toronto tomorrow. I only found out about it on the weekend. She moved away many years ago. Whenever she came to visit, she was always thinner and I was always bigger.

It was always hard for me to be seen like that because she'd only known the skinny me before she moved. As she is one of my dearest friends and I value her opinion highly, this shamed me to the core. I know she loves me no matter what, but I always felt like because I let myself down, I let her down, too.

When I first started to lose weight, one of the things that kept me going was the thought that she might make one of her surprise visits. I never wanted to give her another awkward hug. I wanted to give her an entirely unembarrassed happy embrace without thinking twice about my big unwieldy body. In short, to feel joy at her return instead of shame for myself.

Now that the day has finally arrived, I think I'm more scared than anything else. She's bound to notice that 60 lbs of me is no longer there. I guess I hope she'll be proud of me.

Between all the 10k training preparations, the soonest I'll be able to see her is this Sunday. Hopefully there's enough time in there for me to get some new clothes. All that's really left from my mega shopping trip last September is baggy, black, and blah. Though I was waiting till goal before going shopping again, new clothes will give me a bit more confidence to face the past and embrace my friend :)

Sixty-third Weigh-in

It's amazing how much more relaxed I've become these days about the scale. I'm down .2 lbs and am perfectly happy with it. 62 lbs lost is a nice even number. I like even numbers!

At the meeting today we talked about getting more active. The excuses, the benefits, and why it's not only good for weight loss but good for our bodies in general. I don't normally talk a lot in the meeting, but since this is near and dear to my heart, I was a regular motor mouth!

I can't sing the praises of exercise enough. Yes, I still have to convince myself to go out some days. But I'm in the best shape of my life. Even better than when I was a skinny teenager.

When I walk, I feel the joy of movement, the muscles in my legs, the easy beating of my heart. The number on the scale means nothing compared to the feeling I get from enjoying the gifts my body has given me.

I can feel the wind go by when I run. It feels good. It feels fast.”
– Evelyn Ashford, Olympic Champion

I’m 135 lbs...

...on paper that is.

In my province, your weight is listed on your driver's license. When I renewed mine ten years ago, it was the first time I had to do it. Being my first time, I didn't realize that your weight was put on the back. Unfortunately, I had gained weight since first getting my license and the clerk wasn't going to let me forget it. He curled his lip, gave me a long slow look up and down and asked scornfully if I thought I was kidding myself. He went on to berate me and made me feel about two inches tall.

Okay, I get it man. I have to list my proper weight. I understand that. But did you have to let me know in such a rude and condescending "you're a fat chick, I know it, everyone else knows it, but you obviously don't know it" way? Of course I knew I was overweight! And I would've updated my info without question if I had known.

For ten years now, I've been described on that bit of plastic as being 180 lbs. And I always think of that rude clerk whenever I look at it.

So it was such a sweet and triumphant feeling when I went in to renew it again last night. Like a dutiful, law-abiding person, I made sure to let the clerk (a nice lady) know that my weight had changed and gave it as 135 lbs.

Okay, maybe not exactly "law abiding." I may have fudged a little. But I will be there soon and since I'm going to be carrying that bit of plastic around for another five years, I want it to show the weight I'll be at in a few months.

Take that rude license clerk man. Who are you kidding that you're a nice member of the human race? I may have been overweight, but I got skinnier. What's your excuse? Thhhbbbbppp.

Running through some quick updates

There's been so much I've been wanting to talk about lately that I might as well point-form it.

• Thanks so much for your kind comments on my most recent progress pics. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)
• Also, thanks to everyone and their comments/suggestions about the Mysteries of Makeup. PM, since you and Pegger are all suggesting Clinique, that'll be my next purchase.
• We did a 10k trial run last night, following the same route as the upcoming race. It went very well and we're in good form for race day. That's me in my running gear by the way. Mr. Trim says I look "fast." I love Mr. Trim :)
• I tried a WATP exercise video for the first time in months. Where before I was puffing and wheezing through it, it was ridiculously easy. Never under-estimate the power of Bootcamp!
• I ordered a cute little tote from L.L Bean as my 60 lbs lost reward. I'm hoping it'll help me bring a lunch to work more often instead of going to Subway so much. Not that there's anything wrong with Subway. It just gets expensive if you go there five days a week.
  

There's more that I've been thinking about, but I'll leave those for other posts. Specifically, I'm starting to put a great deal of thought into goal and beyond. And what I'm going to do to celebrate reaching it. There's lots to think about!

Progress Pictures: 60lbs

I thought it was about time to crawl out from under my shy rock and post some progress pics. I even screwed up the courage to go digging for old unflattering shots. I found a doozy, too.



On the left is me wearing a shirt that I shouldn't have ever tried on. Mr. Trim, bless him, had bought it for me in the largest babydoll size he could get. I put it on because it was a Christmas present and bravely let it all hang out. Literally. It was one of my more embarrassing "overweight" moments.

On the right...that's me today, 60 lbs lighter. Wearing the same shirt I swore I'd never wear again after that fateful Christmas. I'm looking pretty hot in it, too. I have neck things!!!

And the cookbook I'm holding? I received it the same day as the shirt. I found it this evening while I was clearing out some clutter and tossed it on the donation pile. Then I found that old picture of me and I knew it was a sign.

After Mr. Trim took my picture tonight, the cookbook went back into the donation box. The shirt and my new look...well those I'm keeping :)

Maybe it’s Maybelline?

I don't know...is it? Somebody please tell me because I'm completely clueless when it comes to skin care, makeup, or even leg shaving. When I was growing up, importance was placed on how much sand and dirt you could come home with between your fingers and toes. Moisturizer? Pffft.

But as I've gotten thinner, I'm looking at my body in a new light. I used to take it for granted. With Weight Watchers and exercise, I've been taking care of the inside. Now that I'm feeling fabulous on the inside, it's time to take care of the outside.

So I've been googling. Yes, googling. For product reviews. It's so sad, it's funny. I feel like Data from Star Trek trying to emulate human behaviour; the more I learn, the more baffled I become. Like toner. I don't know what it is. I know the kind that goes in a laser printer, but somehow I don't think it's the same thing you splash on your face. Unless being smeared with charcoal is the new look for spring?

The mysteries of toner aside, I've so far put together that I should be cleansing my face twice a day and using moisturizer. Accordingly, I've bought cleanser and a moisturizer with sunscreen. And because I'm a deer in the headlights and susceptible to marketing, I also bought a doomahickey that looks exactly like a miniature belt sander for your face.

I used my new products over the weekend and my face actually feels fresh and smooth. Maybe this face cleaning thing isn't so bad? I'll try it for awhile and see how it goes. My next step might even involve makeup. And then, dear readers, I really will be asking if it's Maybelline. Or Cover Girl. Or...or...or well I've run out of names because, as you've no doubt already concluded, I'm clueless ;)

Sixty-second Weigh-in

I'm down 2.2 lbs this week. This means I've now lost over 60 lbs. I've also been sitting here for the last five minutes trying to come up with something to say.

As I get closer to my goal, I'm becoming more shy about it. I couldn't talk in the meeting today either when my name was called. I teared up and could only stammer that I felt 100% better. Doh!

I'm an ingrained shy person. I manage to appear friendly on the surface but always hold something back. Some people think I'm aloof but I'm not. I'm just too darned shy. And as I get closer to this extremely personal goal of mine, I feel like crying "don't look at me!"

So I'm sitting here, proud as a peacock of my newest milestone and yet unable to really talk about it. At the rate I'm going, getting to goal is going to render me utterly speechless!