The second time

The first time I did the 8k, my friends and I were followed by our very own police escort. Dead last, the runners long gone, a police car behind, and George Thorogood blaring through the constable's speakers as we crawled through the quiet residential streets.

The second time I did the 8k – a year later – I came in ninth for my age group. That means I was only six spots (and five minutes) away from finishing in the top three. I met my goal of coming in under fifty minutes. I also achieved a personal best for pace.

As proud as I am of the second time, the story I'm proudest of is the first time. I laugh about it. I tell it to anyone who'd listen. It's a great story and one I hope to tell my kids and their kids one day.

Who else can say they had their very own police escort? Not many people. I may've finished the second time faster, but the first time....the first time we finished in style.

Learning to Kayak

Today, I learned to kayak. It's amazing how much easier it is when you're in reasonably good shape and you aren't trying to steer it like a canoe. I took the course on my own and Mr. Trim came along to take photos. The guide who was teaching the class remarked that it was like having our very own paparazzi. Mr. Guide, welcome to my life.

Here are some of the highlights of the day :)

Learning to paddle on dry land. Air paddling is harder than it looks. That is, until the guide notices you're holding the paddle upside down. After that, things make a lot more sense.



Out in the water at last. I did not fall in. My boat was called the Solander.



It started to sprinkle while we were out. Such is West Coast weather. I'd also like to mention I'm wearing a size small lifejacket. Tee!



The water was surprisingly warm and a lovely deep green. I'm doing a canoe maneuver here. Note: it's not the way to turn your boat around as I soon learned.



Out in the bay. There were two seals that kept popping up around us. I also saw two ravens as well as a rabbit on the shoreline. The rabbit kept running around a bush like crazy while I was trying to listen to the instructor. Nature is fun.



Speaking of which, there were scads of jellyfish in the water. I kept trying not to hit them with my paddle. Mr. Trim amused himself by taking photos of them while I was out of camera range. Random fact: he took 178 pictures of jellyfish alone. At the very least, he's easy to keep amused!



Coming back to shore. Look! I didn't lose my paddle!



I'm backing up to get into a better position to dock. You can't tell, but I'm imagining my kayak is beeping while going in reverse.




All in all, a great day out. If I had the money and a place to store it, I'd buy a kayak today.

The benefits of weight loss

During one of my Weight Watcher's meetings, our leader asked the group what they thought the benefits of weight loss were. Maybe nobody had their coffee yet, but there was more than a few long awkward pauses during that discussion.

Today I'd like to fill in that cricket-filled pause. I often tell people that benefits and non-scale victories happen as you get to goal, not when you get to goal. So, I've put together a list of all the things that happened to me along the way as an example.

• Started to like fruits and veggies
• Discovered stomach and leg muscles
• Clothes started to fit looser
• Had the stamina to walk a 10k race
• Face started looking thinner
• First compliments came after only a few months
• Old tight clothes fitting again
• Became less afraid to appear in photos
• No longer felt tired after grocery shopping
• Bought a bra without crying
• Exercise is becoming fun and something to be enjoyed
• Lower back pains significantly diminished
• Was able to reduce medication for depression
• Dentist says I look like a completely different person
  
• Donated 28 lbs of too-big clothing to charity
• No longer had to shop in plus-sized stores
• Bought a new fall wardrobe in "regular" sizes
• Am told I'm acting more confident
• Walked a half-marathon
• Wedding ring falls off and has to be moved fingers
• Recurrent dream about being overweight no longer haunts me
• Doctor extremely excited and proud about my weight loss
• Fit into an old pair of "skinny" jeans
• Not embarrassed to go to social events
• Can finally fit into clothes at Mountain Equipment Coop
  
• Compliments keep flowing in
• Confident enough to sign up to exercise classes alone
• Discover I have a ribcage
• Wedding and engagement rings fall off completely; both put into safe storage
• An old ring fits again
• Can wear husband's underpants again
• Cat discovers there isn't a "perch" on my hips/bum anymore
  
• Lung capacity makes my voice stronger for voice-over work
• Discover that I like eating healthier more than eating junk food
• Ran a 10k race
• Can squeeze through tight spaces without brushing up against anyone
• Discover I have "neck things"
• Parents are extremely proud of me
• Coworkers are starting to emulate my healthy habits; am told that I was an inspiration for one of them to start losing weight
• No longer embarrassed to ride my scooter again
  
• Bad cholesterol lowered
• Doctor and receptionist both extraordinarily impressed with the improvement to my health
  
• Bought a bathing suit without crying
• Can wear size "small"
• Not embarrassed to go swimming
• Thighs no longer rubbing together
• Realize I'm more outgoing and self-confident than I've ever been
  
• Intrinsically believe that there's nothing I can't do

And that's just the tip of the iceberg! There's even more beneath the surface, ready to be discovered.

I hope that by looking at my list you'll be inspired, too. Whether you're just starting out or on your way, you have so much to look forward that it's downright exciting.

Geronimo!

Way back at the beginning of the year, one of my resolutions was to complete an obstacle course in the trees. The weather finally cooperated and I was able to achieve my goal over the weekend.

Before I go too much farther, let's dive back in time. In 2006, I went to the obstacle course park but didn't particpate. The truth was, I had the athletic prowess of a potato. I also didn't want to face the embarrassment of not being able to haul my large bum around in the trees. So all that really remains of that trip is this photo of me at the park, trying to look happy about not participating.



Fast forward two years and 70 lbs later, I came back to the park on Saturday and completed the entire course, all the way up to and including the black level. My body has changed, there's no doubt. But my mind's changed, too. I could've done that course at any weight. I wasn't too heavy; my belief in myself was too light.

At any rate, here are the pics of my adventure. My apologies to dial-up users :)


You want me to go where?



Soon enough, I was swinging through the trees. Literally.



DontlookdowndontlookdownDONTlookdown!



Hey, I can see light through my thighs!



If you look carefully, you can see the white-knuckled holy-crap grip I have on the rope. Swinging logs = not my friend.



Just to give you an idea of how high up I was...



Zip lines are so freaking fun!



Climbing down towards the end.



Finally, me on the same bridge as in 2006. This time, 70 lbs lighter and 100% geekier in a climbing harness.

Cholesterol test result

So it's taken me six months to get the results, but here goes...

*drumroll*

My bad cholesterol went down and it's now in the normal range. Woot!

I've been googling the numbers and while they're not positively "great" according to the internet they're much better than what they were. But who cares what the internet says - my doctor is really pleased, so I am too!

I'd be interested to see what the levels look like now after all this extra healthy eating and exercising I've been doing. Yay for normal cholesterol!

Born to be Wild

We have the most adorable scooter. I haven't ridden him in the past two years because 204 lbs on the poor little thing was pushing it. I'd be lucky if I got up to 50 clicks. Throughout this past year I kept saying "maybe at X weight I won't feel embarrassed to be seen riding..." But there was never any time when I knew it was the "right" time.

That time finally came. We brought the scooter out of storage two weeks ago, had him at the shop for a complete tune-up, and today was finally a nice enough day that I could take him out into the sunshine.

Mr. Trim was kind enough to take photos of the excursion. He followed me around in the car till we found a nice place. Do I look like a biker chick in my new leather jacket? LOL! Also, who knew the scooter could get up to 60k an hour??? Haha, oh dear. Well, I won't feel badly riding him now :)



Finally, my "I'm too sexy for this scooter" pose. Really, I am too sexy ;)



It's so good to be out riding again :) :) :)

Mother’s Day Present

Yesterday, my husband and I took my Mom out for dinner for Mother's Day. She's seen me on and off for the last few months but hadn't mentioned anything about my weight loss. I didn't think that was anything out of the ordinary. Huggy/kissy/complimenting stuff in my family is only done under threat of water torture.

However, as soon as she saw me, she gave me a big old hug and said that I was looking so healthy, fit and trim. She even pinched my cheeks and said I was looking rosy (I guess that Clinique stuff is working), and kept on hugging me, saying I looked fantastic.

Wow. Did that ever come out of left field! I went over to wish her a happy Mother's Day and she wound up giving me a great present in return :)

Ran the 10k :)

I did it! I ran the 10k in an hour and five minutes. I met and exceeded my New Year's goal and set my fastest time ever doing the 10k. Whoohoo!

I never thought I'd be able to run so far. A year ago I got sweaty just thinking about walking a couple of blocks. In fact, last year I did the 10k in 2 hours by walking. I'm pretty pleased with the improvement! Maybe next year I'll get in under an hour?

When the official pictures are published, I'll see if mine is nice enough to post. I was going full-tilt at the end so I imagine my "race face" might be a little embarrassing, hehe :)

I’m 135 lbs...

...on paper that is.

In my province, your weight is listed on your driver's license. When I renewed mine ten years ago, it was the first time I had to do it. Being my first time, I didn't realize that your weight was put on the back. Unfortunately, I had gained weight since first getting my license and the clerk wasn't going to let me forget it. He curled his lip, gave me a long slow look up and down and asked scornfully if I thought I was kidding myself. He went on to berate me and made me feel about two inches tall.

Okay, I get it man. I have to list my proper weight. I understand that. But did you have to let me know in such a rude and condescending "you're a fat chick, I know it, everyone else knows it, but you obviously don't know it" way? Of course I knew I was overweight! And I would've updated my info without question if I had known.

For ten years now, I've been described on that bit of plastic as being 180 lbs. And I always think of that rude clerk whenever I look at it.

So it was such a sweet and triumphant feeling when I went in to renew it again last night. Like a dutiful, law-abiding person, I made sure to let the clerk (a nice lady) know that my weight had changed and gave it as 135 lbs.

Okay, maybe not exactly "law abiding." I may have fudged a little. But I will be there soon and since I'm going to be carrying that bit of plastic around for another five years, I want it to show the weight I'll be at in a few months.

Take that rude license clerk man. Who are you kidding that you're a nice member of the human race? I may have been overweight, but I got skinnier. What's your excuse? Thhhbbbbppp.

Captain Underpants, part II

A few days ago I told my husband that he needed to start keeping a close eye on his underwear again. In my skinnier days, I'd steal a pair of his when I couldn't find clean ones of my own. But alas, as I became heavier, I could no longer grab a pair in emergencies and was forced to do laundry more often. But now that I'm lighter again...

Guess what I'm wearing today?

*wiggles eyebrows*

Why yes, you, too, as part of your weight loss journey, can achieve this non-scale victory. Being able to fit in your skinny-assed significant other's whitey tighties. Go me!

*strikes superhero pose*

But why in tarnation are these things baggy in the front?

1992 and a number on the scale

Guess what I'm wearing? My 1992 grad ring. I haven't been able to wear it for years. Occasionally I'd find it rolling around in the jewelery drawer and wonder how I ever managed to fit such a teeny looking ring on my finger. Heh. If only I'd took it as a sign that the ring hadn't shrunk and that – as inconceivable as it seemed – I'd done something so outrageous as gaining weight, hehe. But hey! It's fitting again!!!

I also saw a number on my home scale this morning that I haven't seen before. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, so I'm not going to jinx it any further by mentioning what it was. Fingers and limbs crossed for my weigh-in this Saturday.

Lastly, I wanted to apologize for not visiting everyone's blogs as much lately. Work has really gotten busy again and there's little time in the evenings between Bootcamp, running, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. etc. I promise I'll do the rounds soon; I can't wait to catch up with everyone!

Ring Toss - Part II

Since switching my wedding rings to my right hand back in October, they haven't been so loose as to fall off. Not any more. A couple of days ago my engagement ring came off. I thought it was a fluke. It fell off again just now (as I was putting my new DDR mat away, but that's another story).

Fortunately, I felt it come off, but I think it's about time that I put both rings away in a safer place. I've come this far now and might as well wait until the end before I get them resized.

I can't help but feel I'm in the home stretch now :) :) :)

UPDATE: I've put my rings into the ring box I made for our wedding day eight years ago. I'm feeling naked and a bit weepy (sad and happy) without them. I'm thinking I might ask Mr. Trim for a special interim ring :)

Lean and mean

In other news, I've been feeling rather lean this week. I've been noticing sticky outy bits like bones (up until now I thought there was only fluffy white stuff keeping me together). There's also definition in my legs, too. And I have something that I'm pretty sure is a ribcage. Yes, a ribcage of all things. I keep touching it because I can't remember the last time I had one.

“You've lost enough weight”

I've heard of this happening to other people before. Being told that you've lost enough weight already. It's never happened to me before until today and took me by surprise. I never thought I'd be told something like that. Or at least not until I'd gotten to goal.

Fortunately, having heard these stories, I knew how to handle it. I said that my doctor wanted me to lose a bit more weight. Which is true enough even though my doctor technically hasn't said it to me recently. I'm still at an unhealthy weight and though I might look like a shadow of my former self, I'm still a shadow with a spare tire and a BMI of 27.2.

Thankfully, my explanation was accepted. And I took it for how it was meant – a compliment!

Speaking of which, what is it with this week and compliments? I feel rather embarrassed for whining so much about it earlier. I guess it just goes to show that there is some form of higher power out there listening.

And speaking of listening, a special thanks also to my readers for your continued encouragement. It really does keep me going :)

I wasn't crazy

Back in December at my husband's Christmas party, I mentioned how I felt a little like a bug under a microscope. Well guess what? I was right. There were other people who'd noticed I had lost weight.

My husband just emailed me a transcript of a conversation he had with a coworker today:

Coworker: You got your hair cut!

Husband: Yeah, I did. Y'know, it's funny that nobody noticed yesterday. My wife sez—

Coworker: YOUR WIFE . . . LOOKS AMAZING.

I mean, I saw her at the Christmas party, and I was all . . .

*squints*

*looks away*

*looks back*

*hand on chin, squinting*

*finger on nose, thinking*

But, I mean, she looks just awesome! How . . . ?

Husband: She's lost, like, 50 lbs.

Coworker: I KNOW! It's amazing! She just, oh, I, you HAVE to tell her, 'cause she . . .

*does "We're not worthy" bowing motion*

She looks incredible, and it's really . . . it's a real inspiration.

I'd be lying if I said I don't have tears in my eyes. Like, wow. I feel absolutely blessed, humbled, and grateful beyond words for such lovely comments. I was feeling myself start to slip again today as post-New Year's motivation was waning, but this is better motivation than anything.

Curling at Christmas

Last night was my husband's office party. He works with a lot of extroverted people who tend to be focused on appearances. They're what I'd call the "popular" crowd in high school. With my weight ballooning over the years, I hated going to the party and being the only overweight socially-inept wallflower there. For the last couple of years, I managed to avoid going altogether.

However, the party this year was a learn-to-curl party. And being the curious gal I am, I decided that learning to curl sounded too much fun to pass up despite my social ineptitude. The desire to learn even trumped my trepidation at having my weight loss noticed. Though my weight loss has given me more confidence, some of these people can be catty. I'd just as soon as melt into the wall than be noticed by them.

But I sucked it up, put on a nice sweater and went anyways. I felt a little like a bug under a microscope. I could tell some people had noticed just by their expressions, but blissfully they didn't say anything to my face.

However, when we finally got on the ice, I knew that I'd made a huge mistake. The last thing in the world I wanted was to wipe out on the ice in front of all these people. But then a funny thing happened...one of the fellows on our team who seemed to be about as inept as I was (at curling and at social functions), fell as he tried sliding the rock for the first time. I could see he felt badly and embarrassed so I made a decision right then and there that I'd show him it was okay to fall. So, after he went, I went. I slid, I threw the rock, and then I fell on my bum rather spectacularly. He started laughing which is what I had hoped for.

The rest of the lesson went well and sooner than we knew it, we had won our first round and were playing another team. I knew the people on the other team as they were longtime employees. One of them, a good coworker and friend of my husband's stopped me mid-ice. He hadn't seen me for awhile and was blown away at how good I was looking what with my weight loss. He even touched my chin as he said it. I guess he wanted to point out just how thin I was looking. It was a little weird, but cool at the same time as he isn't one of the catty people and isn't normally a touchy-feely person.

For the rest of the night, I had a blast. I learned to curl, hurry-hard, and not be too intimidated by all these extroverted people. And towards the end of the evening, my husband's coworker again approached me, again complimented me and said that I looked like a shadow of my former self. I found out later that his wife also mentioned how good I was looking to my husband.

This morning my knee hurts, my head hurts, and I have "ice" throat. However, I'm feeling happy and accomplished. The night I learned to curl will go down as one of my better Christmas memories.

Shopping in your own closet is awesome

There's been this pair of black jeans kicking around in the bottom of our drawers for a long time now. I thought they were my husband's. He used to complain that his black jeans were too tight and so stopped wearing them. Since he's lost about 8 lbs since I started WW, I told him to go try them on this morning. That's when I hear from the bedroom, "Honey, these say women's cut on them."

Sure enough they were! They'd been around so long, I'd forgotten they were mine. I assumed they'd be too tight for me (after all, they'd been around much longer than I've been fat) and almost put them back in the drawer to wait for thinner times. On a whim, I slipped them on, did them up, and found they were a bit too loose. Eeeeheeeheee!

I now have a pair of serviceable black jeans. I don't know whether I'm more excited that they're loose or that I don't have to go pants shopping!

Girly little bites

I've never had a stranger comment on my food choices before. That is, until last night. My husband and I went to a friend's birthday celebration. I did pretty good at dinner and even mentally prepared myself for cake. When the cake came, I declined saying I would only take a bite from my husband's plate. And when I finally got around to taking said bite, a guy sitting next to my husband started rudely going on to me about how I was taking a "girly little bite" and maybe I should just go get my own piece of cake. WTF???

First of all, it's one of those prearranged things with my husband and I. He'll often let me take a little bite of whatever he's having so that I don't feel deprived. Second of all, it's no business of anyone else if I want to take a small bite. So, [insert rude gesture here], piss off! I'll have my "girly little bite" if I want to AND I'll count it as an NSV.

The one test I can't wait to take

I went to my doctor's this afternoon for my annual checkup. I've always hated checkups. Especially the weigh-in part of it which I always managed to block out thanks to a habit of closing my ears and humming "la la la" to myself. But this time, I proudly stepped on the scale and didn't cringe once. In fact, I had to resist striking a John Travolta pose.

When the doctor finally came in to see me, the first thing she said was "Wow, you look GREAT!" And all through the rest of the checkup she kept complimenting me* and asking me things like if I've gone shopping yet, what my ultimate goal was, and so on. When she asked if I was still on Weight Watchers and I told her I was, she did a little dance in her chair, grinned and said that she always loved hearing success stories like mine. Success stories! Like mine! Eee!

It was so nice to go to an appointment and be showered with praise instead of being gently remonstrated about my weight :)

At the end of the appointment, she looked at me and said, "Let's do your cholesterol! I'm so excited to see how much it's improved!" As much as I hate needles, I'm excited, too! At my highest weight, my cholesterol was verging on being too high. I remember thinking at the time that I was too young to have high cholesterol and that it was the sort of thing that only happened to my folks. Well, no. I wasn't too young. My weight was to blame. But now, I've lost over 50lbs since my last blood test and I'm hoping that means the cholesterol has gone down.

Bring on the 10-hour fast and the nurse with the pointy thing!

*John Travolta pose*


*Tip: compliments during a pelvic exam do not take your mind off of things happening "down there" as much as you would hope they would.

The recurrent dream

About once a month, I have a dream with a recurrent theme - namely finding myself having to go back to a job I loathed. It's always a great relief to wake and find that it was just a dream and that I hadn't totally lost my senses. However, when I got larger, these dreams changed. Not only was I there, tail-between-my-legs forced back to a dead-end job, but I was embarrassed to be seen by my old coworkers as having become fat. It's hard to shake off that sort of dream because, though I can reassure myself that I'd never work that job again, weight does not disappear when you regain consciousness. Funny how that works.

Last night, I had the dream again. This time it was a job I hadn't worked at for a good ten years or more. But this time in my dream, I wasn't actually working there. I was visiting. And I was distinctly not embarrassed to be seen by my coworkers. I remember thinking "I can hold my head up now." I didn't mind that I still had a few more pounds to shed. I was proud of myself and happy to see my coworkers and be seen by them in turn.

Now, I don't kid myself that this means the end to these sorts of dreams. But I am hoping my weight isn't going to be featured in them anymore. It was an awesome feeling not to be embarrassed by my body anymore :)