I'm coming clean with this post. I've been binging. One recent afternoon, I methodically ate whatever packaged treat I could get my hands on. That was the worst day, but there have been others.
The weekends are the trigger for me. They're usually spent with friends who don't care what they eat. I'm always the odd duck out when it comes to healthy meals. I try to tactfully suggest certain places to eat, but I don't press it too hard if nobody is keen on it. Just because I'm choosing to eat healthier, doesn't mean everyone else should, too. Oftentimes, I'm thrown into situations where the choices are limited to yet another unappetizing salad.
What is it about friends and food that leads me astray? When I avoid gettogethers, I'm not a team player. When I order something healthy or abstain from someone's home cooked food, I'm the alien in the group. When I try and be a part of the group and take a nibble...the nibble leads down the path of no return.
It's been a year-long battle and I've just gotten tired of trying to adjust to all these social situations that keep getting thrown at me. Like the dripdripdrip of water on rock, it's wearing me down.
It's for this reason that I've been giving in a lot lately to the pressures of socializing. Unfortunately, it's led to the binging and a fatalistic attitude. "You've already muffed it, Tiny, might as well eat the whole cupboard."
At the very least, I've been crawling back onto the wagon every single time I go off course. By my teeth and finger nails, clinging on. Thank goodness for my mother who passed down the stubborness gene. I. Will. Not. Give. In.
At least not permanently.
All the ranting aside, social situations aren't going to go away. I just have to accept it and keep working on ways to handle it. Aside from...you know...eating a box of cereal in one sitting.