The benefits of weight loss

During one of my Weight Watcher's meetings, our leader asked the group what they thought the benefits of weight loss were. Maybe nobody had their coffee yet, but there was more than a few long awkward pauses during that discussion.

Today I'd like to fill in that cricket-filled pause. I often tell people that benefits and non-scale victories happen as you get to goal, not when you get to goal. So, I've put together a list of all the things that happened to me along the way as an example.

• Started to like fruits and veggies
• Discovered stomach and leg muscles
• Clothes started to fit looser
• Had the stamina to walk a 10k race
• Face started looking thinner
• First compliments came after only a few months
• Old tight clothes fitting again
• Became less afraid to appear in photos
• No longer felt tired after grocery shopping
• Bought a bra without crying
• Exercise is becoming fun and something to be enjoyed
• Lower back pains significantly diminished
• Was able to reduce medication for depression
• Dentist says I look like a completely different person
  
• Donated 28 lbs of too-big clothing to charity
• No longer had to shop in plus-sized stores
• Bought a new fall wardrobe in "regular" sizes
• Am told I'm acting more confident
• Walked a half-marathon
• Wedding ring falls off and has to be moved fingers
• Recurrent dream about being overweight no longer haunts me
• Doctor extremely excited and proud about my weight loss
• Fit into an old pair of "skinny" jeans
• Not embarrassed to go to social events
• Can finally fit into clothes at Mountain Equipment Coop
  
• Compliments keep flowing in
• Confident enough to sign up to exercise classes alone
• Discover I have a ribcage
• Wedding and engagement rings fall off completely; both put into safe storage
• An old ring fits again
• Can wear husband's underpants again
• Cat discovers there isn't a "perch" on my hips/bum anymore
  
• Lung capacity makes my voice stronger for voice-over work
• Discover that I like eating healthier more than eating junk food
• Ran a 10k race
• Can squeeze through tight spaces without brushing up against anyone
• Discover I have "neck things"
• Parents are extremely proud of me
• Coworkers are starting to emulate my healthy habits; am told that I was an inspiration for one of them to start losing weight
• No longer embarrassed to ride my scooter again
  
• Bad cholesterol lowered
• Doctor and receptionist both extraordinarily impressed with the improvement to my health
  
• Bought a bathing suit without crying
• Can wear size "small"
• Not embarrassed to go swimming
• Thighs no longer rubbing together
• Realize I'm more outgoing and self-confident than I've ever been
  
• Intrinsically believe that there's nothing I can't do

And that's just the tip of the iceberg! There's even more beneath the surface, ready to be discovered.

I hope that by looking at my list you'll be inspired, too. Whether you're just starting out or on your way, you have so much to look forward that it's downright exciting.

Seventieth Weigh-in

I knew some weight-rebound was bound to happen because I was sick last week. Fortunately, it didn't put me past my goal weight. I gained 2 lbs this week, making for a nice even 135 lbs. I'm completely cool with that. I can breathe through both nostrils, my side ache isn't as bad as it used to be, and as a result I've been running and Bootcamping again. It feels good to move without pain.

During the meeting we talked about motivation and how it comes and goes. I think it's really important to remember that it's okay if your motivation wavers. Motivation can be strong or weak and it can change as the months go by. If it does weaken, it's just time to reassess and perhaps look for new motivation elsewhere. Make a mini-goal or look for other ways to get inspired. Just don't think you're broken somehow. It's normal and it's okay.

And as my meeting leader said, motivation is like a toilet seat. It can be up and down all within the same day!

So there's your profound bathroom thought for the weekend. Hopefully your week went well and you're proud of something you've done (even if it's a small something, they count, too!) I'm off for another shopping trip. It's time to empty the closet of my transition clothes and get some new duds in earnest.

The will to win

The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.”
– Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon winner

Isn't that a great quote? I've been thinking about it a lot since it was sent to me in my running clinic newsletter. It doesn't just apply to running; it applies to any challenge, weight loss especially. You can't just want to lose weight. You have to put the effort in to make it happen.

Praise You

Ya know...there's something to be said for large subtle hints. Given over and over and over again. This song was played during spinning class today. As I was really giving it, I closed my eyes and let the lyrics sink in.

We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should”

You and me body, we have come a long way together. You've never let me down. And here I am, expecting the scale to provide the reward. The scale does not give us rewards. Never has. Never will. Our bodies provide the reward. And it's about time I rewarded mine with the recognition it deserves. Well done, body, well done. You've gotten me this far, and you'll get me to the end.

What have you done today?

For those who love The Biggest Loser like I do, I have a special treat for you today. The theme song! I absolutely love this song. I will rush into the living room when the show starts just so I can catch the opening credits. I love hearing the music and being inspired by the clips of all the contestants working their butts off, making sacrifices, struggling, and just not giving up. I get weepy just thinking about it!

The song is called “Proud” and it was written by Heather Small and Peter Vttese. If you'd like to sing along to it, the full lyrics can be found over on TheBiggestLoser.info.

When I need a pick-me-up at work, I'll play it on my headphones. I'll also ask myself the same question the song does, "What have you done today to make you feel proud?" It gets me going every time.

We need a change (yeah)
Do it today (yeah)
I can feel my spirit rising
Change (yeah)
We need a change (yeah)
So do it today (yeah)
'Cause I can see a clear horizon”

New year, new goals

This being the first day of 2008, I've been thinking a lot about all the new things I'd like to try and all the goals I'd like to accomplish this year.

So, in no particular order, here's my top ten list of health and fitness goals I'd like to achieve this year:

1. Get to my goal weight
2. Take a spinnning class
3. Run a 10k
4. Take a yoga class
5. Take a step class
   
6. Go on a treeGO obstacle course
7. Be able to complete one or more chinups*
8. Do a bootcamp
   
9. Better my walking time in the half-marathon
10. Swim lots! And without embarrassment!
    

So far, I've already decided to sign-up for a few classes this January: a learn-to-spin class (thanks for the inspiration, Ro!) and a 10k running clinic. I'd be signed up now if it weren't for the stat holiday.

Needless to say, 2008 is looking great and I'm excited to see what new things I can accomplish. So Happy New Year everyone! Let's get out there and achieve our goals. We can do it!


* My husband has a chinup bar. As of this writing, the most I can do is grasp the handles and go purple in the face. I'm still working on that whole "lifting yourself up off the ground" thing. Apparently, it's necessary in order to do this thing called a "chin up."

Six pounds of camping

When I got back from camping on Monday, I weighed myself on my home scale. I wasn't surprised to see that I'd managed to gain 6lbs in only three days. I was reasonably certain that most of those 6lbs could be attributed to the symptoms of having eaten poorly: upset stomach, bloating, and water retention.

Fortunately, I was right. Five of those pounds are gone again, leaving a lone pound hanging around and generally getting up to mischief. If he sticks around for official weigh-in this weekend, I'll consider myself lucky before I run him out of town.

Hopefully, my lesson is learned. Even if I wanted to eat bad food, my body is clearly not used to it anymore. The three days it took me to recover is warning enough!

The slippery slope

I haven't been doing the best that I could be doing on Weight Watchers during the last month. I know this because, among other things, I haven't been tracking as carefully as I should be. I've been going on a slow insidious downhill slide. It started around the time my doctor decreased the dosage of my medication for depression. Normally I'm on an even keel, but a change in dosage caused the whole ship to shudder.

When I'm in a funk, it's hard to function. Anyone who's ever battled with depression knows what this is like. In my case, though I wasn't binging, I wasn't caring a whole lot about what was going in my mouth. I gave myself permission to skip eating a few veggies one day. That slipped to two days, and sooner than you can say "I hate beets," a week and a half had passed with a spotty record of meeting the healthy guidelines of fruits, veggies, milk, water, oil, you name it.

Fortunately, the funk passed, but it was replaced by an increase in projects at work. Which left no time for me to indulge in my favourite internet hobby of reading up on all things Weight Watches. Between this and the funk, I've felt rather isolated and like I'm not really following the program despite tracking my points every day.

This brings me to a few realizations. The first, is that if you give yourself permission to slip, you better be sure it doesn't lead to that slippery slope. Or, if you find yourself halfway down that slope, find a rope, tie a knot in it, and hang on. The second, is the importance of connection and community. Taking inspiration from others is not a small thing. It keeps you going and reminds you that you're not alone.

This week for me has been going better. My mood is up and I've recommitted to careful tracking and meeting the healthy guidelines, veggies included. I'm also going to make time to participate in the WW community a bit more. If not in the day, in the evening at least. I do so enjoy reading everyone's blogs and I miss it. Tonight though, it's time for bed. My rope is tied and I'm hanging on. And as they say, tomorrow is a new day.

Six months

Today is a special day. Six months ago, I plucked up the courage and walked through the door of my local Weight Watchers. Shortly thereafter I picked up the March/April issue of the Weight Watchers magazine. In the issue was an article about how to make changes stick. I read it, and re-read it, and never forgot one of the "secrets" the article revealed: patience.

It said the average amount of time people would stick with something before going back to their previous habits was 3 to 6 months. But, after 6 months, they were more apt to stick with it. I did as the article suggested and promised to myself that I'd make it to 6 months.

I kept that promise and today I hardly recognize myself. I feel fitter, I look better, and I'm prouder. It was a hard promise to keep and I often had my doubts, but it got easier and more of a habit as time went on. Which is what, I suppose, the article was saying. Stick with it long enough and you'll do it by rote.

Though I was going to post a generic inspirational image to mark this day, I thought it more fitting to post another set of progress pics to illustrated just how far 6 months can take you. Here's to another six months. I've stuck to it until now, and I'll stick to it through to goal.

Left: Christmas 2006, 204 lbs
Right: August 2007, 173 lbs
(and yes, that's a Wii controller in my hand)

We had the courage

My walking team and I did an 8k walk today. Though it was an easy walk, we still came in dead last. Turns out the majority of participants were runners with a scant few walkers. In fact, there was maybe 2 other walkers aside from us.

At the start of the race, everyone but us took off running. The first leg of the 8k was along a busy road, closed off especially for the event. So here we were walking in last place, with the runners blocks ahead of us in the first few seconds. It wouldn't have been so bad except we were holding up a long line of cars. Needless to say, we were mortified.

We did a bit of running and tried to walk as fast as we could, but there was no way we could do the walk any faster. So, we plowed on and tried hard not to notice the police escort slowly crawling along behind us. That worked for a bit until the good constable decided to start cheering us on through her loudspeaker. We'd get to a kilometre marker and she'd say something like "way to go team!" When we finally got off the main road and onto residential streets, she started randomly playing us rock music by holding her loudspeaker microphone up to her radio.

After the 4k mark, embarrassment at being last and having our own personal police escort cheering us on so the whole neighbourhood could hear slowly waned to resignation. We were going to do this thing, pride be darned. Along the way the volunteers were still patiently waiting for us and enthusiastically cheered us on. When we got to the end, it was to loud applause from the remaining people and a participation medal for each of us for our efforts.

Though the medal was great, it was the kudos from the volunteers that made it worthwhile. Though we apologized for holding them up, they waived it off and said that at least we got out there and were better than everyone else who stayed home on their couches that morning. You know what? They're right. We did so much more than someone who stayed home.

A fellow walker's t-shirt summed up the whole experience:

The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." - John Bingham

Who cares we came in last. We had the courage to start and keep going.

The Fellowship of the Blog

To my fellow bloggers,

Thank you for inspiring me to get up off my ass and actually do something this evening. I'd been waffling on whether or not I should do some exercise when I eventually decided to spend the rest of the evening ensconced on the couch, eating food* off my chest. That is until I read my evening's fill of blogs, got inspired, and realized that if you all can do it, so can I. So I'm off to do my half-marathon cross-training: 30 minutes on the exercise bike.

with gratitude,

Tiny T.

* Low-fat food of course

Family Baggage

This week's meeting was about the baggage we've inherited from our family. Our meeting leader warned us that it'd be a sensitive subject and wow, was it ever! I didn't think I had any family baggage around food but I was wrong. It isn't just about loving people with food, it's about other things including stress, over-eating, exercise (or lack thereof), genetics, sibling competition, sabotage, and other things our families may have taught us as we were growing up that have shaped our eating patterns more than we thought was possible.

When I was growing up, we didn't have much. My mom was a single mother and she worked very hard to put very basic food on our plates. When she had extra money or it was a special occasion, we'd get treats in the form of fattening food. "Good" food quickly became intertwined with happiness and feelings of well-being. As the years went on and finances became more stable, "good" food became more common. It got to the point where if I didn't have good food around, those feelings of despair and deprivation would surface - as it was when I was growing up. A recipe for future disaster? You bet.

The other thing that struck home to me was family habits around exercise. Our leader spoke of some families not encouraging exercise or to get moving. My family had a Jekyll/Hyde approach to it. We'd get taken out on long hikes which, for the most part, I hated because my family is rather dysfunctional. Hikes were just another outlet to be criticized and yelled at. My mom would also never let me sign up for extra-curricular sports because she didn't have time to devote to driving me around. I learned that exercise was a thing to be avoided because you'd be made to feel inferior and also because it was too much of an inconvenience. Another recipe for future disaster? You bet.

Here I am at the meeting, having all this wash over me, and finally understanding another piece to the puzzle that is the fat me. No wonder I didn't like exercise! No wonder I liked fattening food! But hey, you know what? I've been overcoming all of this. Exercise can be FUN! You can have good tasting food all the time without emotionally depriving yourself. Imagine that. And you know what? I've been overcoming this for months now. Now THAT's progress.

For anyone still reading along take some time to really think about what your family might have taught you about food and exercise. It's surprising how much family dynamics can have an impact on your health. If the brave members at the meeting who shared their stories are anything to go by, I wouldn't be surprised if it's affected every one of us on this journey to some extent. Some members spoke of sabotage from parents. Others, dealing with some form of abuse. And some spoke of old-fashioned being loved to fatness with food.

Our leader closed by telling us in a voice that almost brought me to tears that she is proud of us, each and every one of us for having the courage to be there. And from me to you, I'm passing along the same message. I'm proud of you all. For having the courage to meet challenges head on, not accept defeat, and go on, in spite of everything that you may have had to endure or that you are continuing to endure.

You can overcome and I believe in you all.

Making yourself over, one day at a time

Last night I picked up my new glasses. The last time I bought glasses was ten years ago. Although my prescription has changed imperceptibly, I decided to get new glasses anyways. And what a difference they make! I feel hip, happening and yes, even younger!

With these new glasses, I came to the realization that I've been making myself over as I go. Weight loss isn't just about the pounds, it's about your attitude and how you feel about yourself. Some days are crappy, there's no doubt about that, but as time goes on those days are fewer and far between and you start to think you really are worth taking care of.

You buy some new clothes, you get a manicure, you actually start shaving your legs and washing your face, you get a new hairstyle, you order new glasses and the next thing you know, you're 28 lbs lighter and someone you want to take care of!

When you fall flat on your face...

It's funny how a few days of utter abandonment can make one feel fat. I'd been feeling pretty fly about myself lately. After all, I've had one success after another. But it's good to fall on one's face every so often. It smacks a bit of sense in to you and (hopefully) gives you the determination to work that much harder.

The Saturday afternoon that I managed to put a check on my eating, I started feeling that fatalistic twinge, that all-or-nothing attitude that has gotten me into trouble in the past. You know, the "I completely blew it so I should give up altogether" type of attitude. I felt fat and like I had somehow managed to gain back all that I had lost by eating badly for a few days.

It was a twinge I knew to expect from my past weight-loss experiences, so I've been carefully telling that five-year-old self that the world isn't over, that I have not blown it unless I say I've blown it. Fortunately, self-talk works if you keep at it long enough. Like the drip-drip-drip of water torture, you'll eventually get through to yourself. But hopefully without the going mad-as-a-hatter bit.

Today, the twinge has definitely given over to determination. Every choice is a new opportunity. I can turn the ship around. And it's fitting to recall the quote from my meeting leader that so struck a cord in me:

When you fall flat on your face, you're actually moving forward."

Failure is just as important as success. Just don't let it beat you!

Nineteenth Weigh-in

I'm down another 1.2 lbs which means I'm in a whole new set of numbers. Bye-bye 180s, hello 170s! This also means I now weigh the same as I did when I got married seven years ago. Woot! The receptionist who weighed me in was super nice, too. She complimented me on the colour of my shirt and was genuinely happy for me on how well I'm doing. Most receptionists are great, but this lady was super great.

At the meeting itself, a lady mentioned she has a charm bracelet that she adds a charm to for every 10 lbs she loses. It reminded me of the last time I lost weight and how I kept a charm bracelet, too. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to find my bracelet since we moved two years ago but I was inspired to look for it again. And you know what, I found it! It had fallen behind one of the drawers in my jewelery box.

It was nice to see the bracelet again. Firstly because it's a family heirloom; it was my mother's charm bracelet. And secondly because I could see how far I had gotten last time - 20 lbs altogether with one charm for every 5 lbs. It reminded me that I have lost weight before and I'm doing it again with ease and more success.

I'm going to start up a new charm bracelet, but this time it'll be an Italian charm bracelet. I've always wanted one and it'll fit my active lifestyle better than a traditional charm bracelet. For every 5 lbs lost, I'll get a new charm. I'll also get a new charm for milestones and other momentous achievements. I may wait until I get to 25 lbs lost before ordering the first batch, but we'll see :)

A Fat Rant by Joy Nash

Someone shared this on the forums today and it's one of the most eloquent and inspiring rants that I've seen lately. What a beautiful person. I watched it twice in a row and will likely watch it again. If you go to the YouTube page for the video, you'll also see a number of video responses to it. There's lots of people out there that really connected to the video and it's awesome to see we're not alone.

Thanks to W8TRACKER for posting it!

Seventeenth Weigh-in

I lost .6 lbs this week. Not surprising given the rather big losses I've been experiencing over the last few weeks. I'll take it any way I can get it though! You'll also notice that I've picked my official WW goal weight. I decided to go with 135 lbs as that's what's recommended as the maximum for my age. I'm hoping that during maintenance, I'll get down to 130 for my personal goal.

And at the meeting today, a lady made goal. It was so inspiring. She had lost over 80 lbs and she looked FANTASTIC. Tight healthy skin and everything. When I first saw her at the weigh-in counter I was wondering what she was doing at Weight Watchers. Well obviously she's been succeeding! It was so wonderful to see her achieve her goal.

The meeting topic was really good, too. It was about not accepting failure and persevering. Did you know that Sir Edmund Hillary failed at his first attempt to climb Mount Everest? Upon returning from this failed expedition, he vowed to try again. It was purported that he raised his fist to a picture of the mountain and declared,"You defeated me! But you won't defeat me again! Because you have grown all you can grow ... but I am still growing!"

Our meeting leader went on also to say that perseverance is going one more day longer than you thought you could go. One step farther up that mountain. She closed with this quote which I wrote down in order to share with you all:

When you fall flat on your face, you're actually moving forward."

After the laughter died down, I realized just how true this is. You only fall flat if you don't learn from your mistakes.

Putting it into perspective...

Despite all my whining and whinging about slow weight loss, I've come to a startling realization. I'm almost at the same weight as I was seven years ago when I got married. This means that it's only taken me four months to undo seven years of weight gain.

You know what? That's pretty inspiring!

The two-and-a-half-month itch

I've been really struggling for the last few days. Bored, tired and a "who cares?" attitude towards food and exercise. Not good.

Today, I'm promising myself to just keep doing what I've been doing. Plod along and keep the chin up. This is temporary and it will pass. Remember that day I said to always remember? Yeah, that day. So remember it already!

If it isn't hunger...

If it isn't hunger, food won't fix it. I had to repeat that a lot today. It's a phrase my Weight Watchers leader taught us at a recent meeting. When stressed, angry, bored, sad or whatever, eating won't fix it. She didn't mention anything specifically about deadlines and clients, but I figgered repeating it HAD to work.

Repeating this mantra eventually worked but not before I ate myself sick on too many almonds. As a result, I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling stressed, yucky, and guilty. My leader was right. While three times the helping of almonds might've seemed good at the time, it certainly didn't fix anything.

I repented this evening as best as I could. Drank my water, ate my veggies. And, after journaling my food for the day (yes, even those almonds), it wasn't so bad after all. I didn't win the battle, but I didn't lose the war either. Yay for small victories.