Sixty-nineth Weigh-in :)

A picture is worth a thousand words...



I lost 3.2 lbs this week, putting me past my goal of 135 lbs and then some.

Goal goal goal goal goal goal omigosh I MADE GOAL!!!!!!!!!



That's me, my goal charm, and a big goofy smile on my face. When I received it at the meeting I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. I thought it likely that I'd cry, but surprisingly, I didn't. I had practiced my speech for a month and I managed to deliver it without nary a sniffle.

After the meeting, I had a nice heart-to-heart with my leader. She has been my rock throughout the whole thing. She's kind, funny, supportive, and personable. She's the kind of leader I wish everyone had. I'm not a huggy person and go out of my way to avoid it, but I freely gave her one. It felt so good to acknowledge the energy and strength she gave me through that one embrace.

When I got out of the meeting, I was so gosh-darned proud you couldn't drag me off the cloud. I called my husband immediately to let him know the good news. He congratulated me and told me to look in the trunk of the car. When I got to the car, I found a bouquet of flowers and a card telling me how proud he was of me. For the first time that day, I started to cry. And then I noticed that he was parked behind me on the scooter. He'd come out to be with me on my special day.

This leads me to my special accolades section. I'll be posting my before and after pics, but I really need to thank a whole lot of people first.

First and foremost, to my husband. I really couldn't have had a better partner in all of this. He has loved me no matter what my size was. He never pushed, never belittled, never suggested that he didn't love me one ounce less. During all my past diet attempts, he always supported me, no matter how crazy the diet I'd chosen was. And when I decided to go on Weight Watchers again, he was by my side. He made me breakfast, he'd hide his treats, if he wanted fast-food he'd have it outside of the house. When I wanted to start exercising, he started, too. I never asked him to do these things. He just did them. Every step of the way he's been with me. Words cannot describe how much I love you, my dear. You are the best friend I've ever had.

Next, to Weight Watchers, my leader, the receptionists, and the meeting members. For just about every Saturday morning for the last year, I've been up bright and early to the meetings. The support, smiles, and inspiration I've received during the weekly meetings are a cornerstone of my success. Weight Watchers has made this whole thing possible.

Last, to my blog readers and to all the gals and guys on the WeightWatchers.ca forums. I love each and every one of you. For reading my blog, giving me props when I was down, supporting me through tough times, cheering me on and even suffering through some of my more long-winded posts. Let's not forget the kicks in the bum. I've received those, too, and though it smarted at the time, it was what I needed most.

Okay, so now that I'm crying like a baby, how about some before and after shots?





Holy fricken wow. I look at those pictures and it's hard to imagine that's what I used to be - 211 lbs at my highest. There was a time when I couldn't remember what it was like to be thin. And now look at me.

It has been one year and four months since I started this journey. To say that it changed my life is an understatement. I am a new person inside and out. As the layers melted away, I found someone worthwhile inside.

Thank you, Weight Watchers. You gave me the tools to take back my life.

Sick, on the couch, and reading blogs

I'm home from work today. I've come down sick with a cold and it t'aint leaving me alone. So I'm cuddled up on the couch with my notebook and am FINALLY getting around to reading the huge backlog of blogs that I've been missing.

I'm really very sorry that it's taken me so long, but I do hope y'all know you're always in my heart. And hopefully know that I've been so busy it's taken a sick day for me to get some time to actually relax.

I also saw a new number on the scale this morning. I don't want to jinx it but....well, I don't want to jinx it. We'll see what tomorrow brings :)

Goal and Beyond: Planning for Goal Day

Though I've already decided on my ultimate reward, I'd like to do something special on the day I actually achieve goal. Between my cold and worrying about the ache in my side, it's been hard to focus on anything else. However, since goal can happen any weigh-in now (even this weekend, eep!), I've had to get my act in gear and finally put together a list last night.

So here it is. My list of things to do on goal day.

1. Powerslide. With majesty. Additionally, jump, dance, laugh, cry.
2. Attach the last charm to my bracelet.
   
3. Go shopping for summer attire and a "goal" outfit.
   
4. Book a day at the spa.
5. Sign up for the half marathon
6. Cook (or plan for if I'm too tired after shopping) a celebration dinner consisting of special low-fat recipes picked from my favourite cookbook.

The shopping trip will also include Mr. Trim as a participant. He's lost at least 10 lbs by proxy since I started Weight Watchers. He's become much more aware of his health and wellness along the way and has been exercising, too. Isn't that absolutely fantastic? I'm really really proud of him.

As he's also been with me through thick and (now) thin, I think he deserves new duds, too. Thank goodness he adores clothes shopping!

Cholesterol test result

So it's taken me six months to get the results, but here goes...

*drumroll*

My bad cholesterol went down and it's now in the normal range. Woot!

I've been googling the numbers and while they're not positively "great" according to the internet they're much better than what they were. But who cares what the internet says - my doctor is really pleased, so I am too!

I'd be interested to see what the levels look like now after all this extra healthy eating and exercising I've been doing. Yay for normal cholesterol!

Back from the doctor's

This is a repost from the WeightWatchers.ca forums.

First of all, thank you to everyone who sent me well-wishes and thoughts. It really helped me get through the day with some sanity!

So I went to my appointment and my doctor doesn't know what's wrong with me. She did an abdominal exam and couldn't feel anything obviously inflamed or out of the ordinary.

As it could be any number of things, I was sent for a blood and urine test. I'm also being put on the waitlist for an ultrasound. If the ultra-sound appointment is too far off in the future (apparently they're overbooked right now), then she'll have me back in to discuss other tests.

And of course, if there's anything that shows up in my blood/urine results, I'll be called in for another appointment.

Lastly, I've been put on metamucil twice a day. I'm not as regular as I could be - this could be causing the problem. So, it's a big glass of fibre for me twice a day. We're both crossing our fingers that this is the cause of the problem because it's easy to fix.

All in all, even though I don't know what's wrong, I'm feeling much better. At least I know I'm not in any immediate need of a hospital.

So there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about me and my innards. Oh, and I did get my cholesterol results...but I'll save that for another post because it's an NSV :)

Funny tummy

Just a quick post from me today. I've been feeling a bit under the weather for the last month and am finally getting in to see my doctor tomorrow afternoon. It's for pain that started in my upper-right abdomen when running and now it's progressed to being a constant low ache no matter what I'm doing. I've been trying not to worry about it but have been failing miserably this evening.

On the bright side, at least I'll finally find out what my cholesterol level is. Some of you might recall that I had a blood test done late last year. What with work being busy and all sorts of other things going on, I never got around to making an appointment to get the results. Yeah. My bad. But hey, better late than never.

Free Pedometer from Crystal Light

Brodiegirl33 posted this today on the WeightWatchers.ca forums and I thought I'd pass it along. If you register for the step challenge at CrystalLight.ca, you can get a free pedometer. I think it's snazzier looking than that Kellogg's pedometer they've been hiding in cereal boxes. And it's free, so why not?

Head on over to the website and click on "register" in the upper-right corner. Make sure you enter your real name on the first step. Unlike a certain someone who may be causing her mailman confusion in a few week's time as he tries to figure out who "Tiny Trim" is.

Heh. Whoops. I'll let you know if and when I receive it. Thanks Brodie!

I love Wii Fit and so does my cat

Mr. Trim and I have been Wii Fitting since last Wednesday. It is really a lot of fun. Except maybe when the cute little scale reveals your Wii Fit age, hehe.

So far, I like the running game the best. You get to run around a virtual outdoor path and see all sorts of Miis from your Mii Channel running around, too. The more you run, the more you unlock. Apparently, there's an entire island to explore.

I also quite like the yoga and the strength training. The yoga is soothing yet challenging. The strength training is just challenging. The game keeps calling me "unbalanced" and I hope it's not referring to my mental state.

The personal trainers are pretty nifty too, expect for the creepy fact that their lips don't move. I went with the girl and Mr. Trim went with the guy. Though you can't physically rename them, we've nicknamed them "Bob" and "Jillian." I'm still waiting for Jillian to yell at me and/or threaten to rip my arm off and beat me with it, but I don't think she has it in her. Maybe if she gets her mouth un-sewn, she can really get into some beatdowns like her namesake.

Lastly, the cat really likes Wii Fit as you can see below. Either that, or he really likes the exercise mat which puts him a towering 1-inch higher above the ground. For the record, trying to do the jackknife exercise with a cat on your stomach does not (surprisingly) help. At all.

Sixty-eighth Weigh-in

I'm down .2 lbs this week. Not too shabby after the wild birthday weekend and the crazyness that was May in general with all the eating out. I had started to get overwhelmed and lose my way with all that was happening, but now that things have settled down, I'm ready for the final push.

In fact, I've been waffling whether I knew it or not. I've been prolonging getting to goal because I didn't quite feel ready. But I'm done with waffling. It's time to get this done and power-slide across the finish line.

I'm even more inspired now to stay the course because a friend just found out she needs to lose weight. I will show her that it can be done - that it is possible to make healthy choices in social situations - and hopefully it will inspire her in turn.

Born to be Wild

We have the most adorable scooter. I haven't ridden him in the past two years because 204 lbs on the poor little thing was pushing it. I'd be lucky if I got up to 50 clicks. Throughout this past year I kept saying "maybe at X weight I won't feel embarrassed to be seen riding..." But there was never any time when I knew it was the "right" time.

That time finally came. We brought the scooter out of storage two weeks ago, had him at the shop for a complete tune-up, and today was finally a nice enough day that I could take him out into the sunshine.

Mr. Trim was kind enough to take photos of the excursion. He followed me around in the car till we found a nice place. Do I look like a biker chick in my new leather jacket? LOL! Also, who knew the scooter could get up to 60k an hour??? Haha, oh dear. Well, I won't feel badly riding him now :)



Finally, my "I'm too sexy for this scooter" pose. Really, I am too sexy ;)



It's so good to be out riding again :) :) :)

Nike+ nano = fun

I had that much of an awesome birthday that it's taken me until today to get time to take a photo of my prezzies. Pictured are the following:

• Red iPod Nano (8GB), given to me by Mr. Trim.
• Nike+ sportkit, given to me by Mama Trim.
• Armband and sensor pouch, also given to me by Mama Trim.

I have been dying to try the Nike+ kit ever since I heard about it. Trouble was, I didn't have a Nano to go with it. So I pined. And I petted the iPod display case whenever we went to Future Shop. And I pined some more.

I guess Mr. Trim couldn't take the hints anymore so he bought me this gorgeous Nano. It even has my name engraved on the back! Mama Trim gave me money, so I used it to buy the kit and the accessories. I also splurged and bought a Nike Original Run mix from iTunes.

Last night I tried out the whole kit and kaboodle and let me tell you, I felt like an honest-to-goodness athlete. I had my Nike cap on, an iPod strapped to my arm, the Nike+ dude telling me how fast I was going, and the Crystal Method pumping in my veins. I was an utter goddess of running. Until I started to strut my stuff during my walk interval and pulled something the wrong way. Ouch! Nothing like reality to pull you back down to earth, lol!

Below is my first run, as pictured on the Nike+ homepage (don't ask me about the dip at the end, I was legging it, honest!). The website is really nifty as is the Nike+. I absolutely love my new gifts. Thanks Mr. Trim and Mama Trim! I puffy heart you both!

Clinique Consultation

I went to my Clinique consultation on Saturday. Unfortunately, it didn't go as well as I would have hoped. When the girl asked me what I usually wore for makeup, I said "nothing" because that's true. To which she replied, "Oh, okay, we'll do a skin care consultation instead" and took off to grab some materials before I could say anything to the contrary.

That's okay. Her makeup looked slathered on and I didn't want to look like her at the end of the appointment. So we did a skin care consult which was less consultative than I thought it would be. She asked me the same set of questions you can answer on Clinique's website and came up with recommendations based on that. She didn't explain the products, just said "here's what you need."

Ah well, at least it was free and I got a complimentary tube of facial cleanser, too. At the end, I wound up purchasing a bottle of clarifying lotion and a tube of moisturizer. So far, I've tried the clarifying lotion. It felt like it was eating my face, but according to the bottle that means it's working.

I still haven't given up on getting makeup though. I plan on going back at some point and getting a proper makeup consultation. For now, I'm still getting used to this washing, moisturizing, and now clarifying business. Getting girly is kinda complicated!

Long weekend successfully fun

Oy vey, what a weekend! I hope everyone else had as good a long weekend as I did. I'm still recovering!

I know there's still a few things to report on, but I'm at work now so it'll have to wait till later. In the meantime, I'm off to prop me up with some caffeine and aspirin, hehe.

Sixty-seventh Weigh-in

I guess eating more has been agreeing with me. I'm down another .8 lbs this week. I had a panic moment at the scale when my regular receptionist said that I had only 1.4 lbs to go. Yikes! I know it's been close for awhile, but this is getting extremely close.

At the meeting, I had nice chats with a bunch of regular members. First, I told one fellow that he really needed new pants. I couldn't help but notice just how baggy they'd become when he stepped on the scale. His sister then said that they'd been telling him for weeks the same thing and hopefully my comment would inspire him to finally get around to it, haha!

I also spoke with a fantastically inspiring lady who's been at goal for a few months now and we both encouraged each other to sign up for the marathon in October. We're going to check in with each other in a few weeks to see if we actually did it.

The rest of my day was full of birthday fun, but that's another post. I'm actually writing this the day after and am getting ready to work off some birthday cake. I'll write more later about my Clinique appointment, my new iPod nano, my soon to be purchased Nike+, and my scooter. Yes, scooter. Two wheels, gas engine, goes "meep!" and all that :)

Awesome office birthday

I've said before that it's funny what a year's difference makes. Not only in me, but in other's perceptions. Tomorrow being my birthday, today there was a small office get-together with food to celebrate it. Normally we have cake or pastries. Indeed, that's what we had last year.

This year was a complete change of pace. Instead of cake, there was a big bowl of fresh strawberries along with fat-free vanilla yogurt for dipping. Fat-free vanilla yogurt. Strawberries. No pastry, no cake, no icing, just fresh awesome zero-points-for-a-cup strawberries.

Holy wow. Can you say thoughtful, touching, awesome?

Best. Birthday. Treats. Ever!

Charms: 60lbs and 65lbs

Mr. Trim is getting even fancier with his shots! Here's a pic of my newest charms. (The blue background is my new SIGG bottle, btw.)



And here are the meanings:

• Panda (60 lbs): Bears are a symbol for reflection as well as relaxation. The journey is hard, but it's important to relax and have fun.
  
• Elephant (65 lbs): Strength and patience in all things. And never forgetting where you've come from and where you aim to be.
  

There's just one more blank link left in my bracelet. I don't think I need to say what it's reserved for :)

Review: The Biggest Loser Workout – Cardio Max

I've had this DVD for months and didn't get to try it until recently. Just goes to show you how busy I am! I bought it for about $10 from Rogers Video. You can also order it from Amazon.ca.

The DVD has 50 minutes of workouts on it which can be combined in any way you like. The warm-up (5 minutes), Level 1 (20 minutes), and the cool-down (5 minutes) are hosted by Bob. Level 2 is with Jillian (10 minutes), and Level 3 is with Kim (10 minutes).

If you follow the built-in programs, Level 1 includes the warm-up, the 20-minute section with Bob, and a cool-down. Level 2 is the same, but after the workout with Bob, the workout with Jillian plays. The same goes with Level 3. You can follow these programs or you can go into the "maintenance" option on the DVD and choose whatever workouts you want.

So far, I've only done Level 1. Foolish me, I thought it'd be easy! It's easy in that the moves aren't complicated. But it's hard in that it really pushes you. The moves remind me of the sort of things we do in Bootcamp, especially because the cool-down is yoga-inspired. I also like that contestants from the show are the ones doing the exercises. They're regular people so they make mistakes which I can relate to. There's even a few of them who do modified moves that you can do if you're finding things are too hard.

The only complaint I have about the DVD so far is the music. It's about the most uninspired music I've ever heard on an exercise video. It's comprised of one or two music loops lifted from the Biggest Loser show. However, you soon forget about it because you're listening to Bob, Jillian, and Kim yelling at you more than anything else.

Lastly, if you pick this one up, be prepared to have hand weights. I thought it was all cardio, but in Bob's section he has you doing moves with weights. Bob shows you a modified version without weights, but I think you'd get more out of it with weights than without.

Four stars out of five.

Goal and beyond: the rest of me

Next in my list of things to think about, what shall I do after goal? Traditionally, we WWers go on maintenance and add points to our daily allowance until we stop losing.

However, there's still some problem spots that have been hanging on till the bitter end. I thought they'dve given up by now and gone home with the rest of my one-pound guests, but alas, they're still on my doorstep holding up signs saying "heck no, we won't go!"

If I keep losing, those spots will go. I've been feeling them start to go in the last few weigh-ins, so I'm pretty sure losing more will help them move along.

So how much farther do I go before I say enough's enough? That's the catch. How much of the rest of me do I want to lose? At what point do I say "this is good, I'll stay here"? I don't know the answer to that yet.

In the meantime, I'm not ready for maintenance, this I know for sure. There's more to be done for this body of mine, starting with evicting more protesters on my bum. Once I actually get to goal, I'll reassess.

Mother’s Day Present

Yesterday, my husband and I took my Mom out for dinner for Mother's Day. She's seen me on and off for the last few months but hadn't mentioned anything about my weight loss. I didn't think that was anything out of the ordinary. Huggy/kissy/complimenting stuff in my family is only done under threat of water torture.

However, as soon as she saw me, she gave me a big old hug and said that I was looking so healthy, fit and trim. She even pinched my cheeks and said I was looking rosy (I guess that Clinique stuff is working), and kept on hugging me, saying I looked fantastic.

Wow. Did that ever come out of left field! I went over to wish her a happy Mother's Day and she wound up giving me a great present in return :)

Video Bootcamp

I was really wanting a bootcamp-style workout today but without an instructor, I'm pretty useless at thinking of things myself. So I thought it'd be fun if I mixed and matched sections of my favourite exercise videos.

Here's what I did:

• Walk Away the Pounds – 1 Mile
  
• Turbo Jam – Learn & Burn
• Biggest Loser – Cardio Max, Levels 1 and 2
  
• Walk Slim – Fast Start, 2 Miles

Once I finished each DVD, I skipped the cool-down and moved on to the next. On the last DVD, I completed the cool-down and did a full-body stretch on my own. By the time I was finished, I was surprised to find that I had worked out for 2 hours and burned over 600 calories!

All in all, "video bootcamp" was a fun experiment and a good workout. I'll be trying it again, but maybe not for so long, hehe.

Sixty-sixth Weigh-in

I'm down .8 lbs this week. Yep, I'm surprised. I even went back to wearing my regular (heavier) jeans. Ah well, after all this time I should know better than to try and predict what the scale will do. Maybe next week it'll catch up with me, and maybe it won't. I'm not going to worry about it though. Having an extra few weeks to get to goal is fine by me.

Speaking of which, I've been finding it hard identifying with myself nowadays. For the longest time I knew myself as a person who was obese. Now that I'm no longer obese, it feels like it happened in a blink of an eye. For ten years I was overweight, the next day...*poof*...I wasn't.

It's weird, I know. I've been working towards this for over a year now and yet it feels like my "new" body emerged within a month. I'll be walking and notice that my stomach isn't hanging out or my thighs aren't rubbing together and wonder "when did that happen?"

I've heard before that this is normal to feel this way and that it takes awhile for the brain to catch up with the changes in your body. I sure hope it happens soon. It's strange being a stranger in your own body.

Wii Fit is coming, get your preorder on

For those of you with Wii consoles, don't forget that Wii Fit is coming in the next few weeks out on May 21st. Wii Fit looks really fun, engaging, and a perfect gadget for the health-conscious. Anything that combines health and fitness with video games is super-fun-awesome in my books. Check out the above link for a video of how it works.

If you haven't preordered it, do it now. There's a huge ground-swell of interest in this game and I predict it's going to be hard to come by for the first few months of release. This is compounded by the fact that the game comes with a peripheral. Games with peripherals are notorious for being unable to keep up with demand. Guitar Hero and DDR for the Wii are perfect examples of this.

So if you haven't done it yet, get on the phone and ask around to see if there's any stores doing preorders. For anyone curious, I was able to get my preorder from EB Games a few months back. More screenshots and news can be found at IGN. Can't wait!

The long-term benefit of a plateau

Someone asked me today how I managed to survive the two months of plateau I went through. It made me think back to that time and how frustrating it was. In hindsight, I can see now that it was exactly what I needed.

It taught me so many valuable lessons that any frustrations I had were as temporary as the plateau itself. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. Here's why:

• I learned to eat better. Yes, I'd lost weight up till that point but was I truly eating healthy? I wasn't really. One of the things that came out of the plateau is that I now eat a lot better now. I consistently meet the 8 Healthy Guidelines. What's more, I truly believe in them and not just go through the motions because "Weight Watchers says so." In fact, I enjoy eating healthy food MORE than I enjoy eating junk food.
  
• I have more tenacity. I knew the exercise was likely behind the plateau. I battled with myself. The good voice said that it was better to be fit. The bad voice said that I'd lose more weight if I stopped exercising. I battled the bad voice for weeks but didn't give in. I'd be darned if I was going to give up on losing weight and I'd be darned if I was going to give up on exercise. So I buckled down and just did it. The bad voice was wrong. I'm in the best shape of my life.
  
• I got in touch with my accomplishments. With the scale not moving, I had to look elsewhere for motivation. I looked inwards and reflected on what I had achieved to date. I had a nice long time to really think about that and know that if I gave up, it was a poor way to reward all the sweat and tears I had previously gone through. I also started writing down good things I did during the day so that any poor choices I made would seem insignificant to the pile of good ones. I really learned to look at the big picture.
• Relax and have fun. I learned to become patient, accepting, and more relaxed about the process. Even now when I gain or lose a tich, I say "meh" and keep going.

Plateaus are never easy. But they're not all that bad. Look at the lasting benefits I received with mine.

Goal and beyond: the reward

It's time to start seriously thinking about goal and life beyond goal. I'm in the last stretch. The home plate is only a powerslide away.

In the first part of what's likely to become a series of me talking to myself, I'd like to talk about a physical reward of getting to goal. Though I want to lose a bit more weight (that's another blog post in itself), I can't let the momentous accomplishment go by without something equally momentous to celebrate it.

Clothes shopping, spa, that sort of thing goes without saying. I plan on treating myself like a queen. But what I really want is something more personal and lasting: professional photos of my husband and myself.

You see, when we were married, I was overweight. I had to live with a dress I didn't really like because it was the only one that fit me in the shop. The photos of our wedding weren't very good to begin with and me stuffed in a dress only made the whole thing that much more embarrassing.

I really want to have lovely photos of my sweetie and I. Ones that I can be proud of and actually put on the wall and not hide in a box. So that's what I'm going to do. Hire a professional and get some candid portrait shots of my hunny and me. This time I'll look slim and hot and he won't be wearing a leg cast. And yes, that's a whole other story in itself ;)

10k photos

Photos are in! As I expected, there isn't any particularly flattering shots of me in the 10k. These are the best of the worst, hehe. The second one is me booting it for the finish line. I'm sporting some pretty odd looking lumpy legs there. But trust me, I looked lean and mean ;)

Aha.

I realized today why I've been feeling all discombobulated, down, and out-of-sorts this last week. My period started today, meaning all last week and up until today was typical Tiny Trim "I cry at car commercials" PMS.

You'd think I'd remember after all these years that this happens every month.

Sixty-fifth Weigh-in

I knew I wouldn't be in the 140s for long but didn't figure on getting through it so quickly. I'm down 2.2 lbs this week and am now in the 130s. I lost a point from my daily allowance, gained a star for my bookmark and I'm so close to goal that I'm having a hard time believing it.

I'm not celebrating quite yet, though. This past week has been terrible in terms of eating and exercising. I also wore different (lighter) clothes to weigh-in because my normal outfit is in the wash. That 2.2 lbs is feeling rather unrealistic.

So next week I'm expecting a gain as this past week catches up to me. I did the best I could, but there's only so much you can do when every other night you're going out to dinner with friends to celebrate something. I did damage control as much as possible, but I don't think it was enough. I've also been feeling rather down about my friend, so some emotional eating has been getting the better of me.

Ah well. It's a new week now. Since I have absolutely nothing to do this weekend (bliss!), I'm going to sit down and make some menus and plan on trying new recipes. I also bought the new Weight Watchers magazine this morning so hopefully there's some good info in there.

Have a great weekend everyone. Hopefully you're doing well, celebrating some NSVs, and kicking butt at the scale :)

EDIT: What the heck. I might as well be happy about today and get out of my funk. I ran a 10k, I'm no longer overweight, and I've earned another star for my bookmark. What's not to be happy and excited about? This past week was just a blip and I can hit the ground running again just like I've always done. I'm going to head out today and buy myself a water bottle and maybe a new Webkinz as a reward.

The morning after

I wish I could say that it all went well. It did go well in that I was able to see my friend again, talk, and laugh. However, there's more than a few things different about her that I feel like I don't know her anymore. I'm feeling rather sad about it this morning.

The topic of my weight loss didn't come up; neither of us remarked on anything close to it. This is because our roles were reversed. I had lost weight, but she had gained weight. It was startling to see her like that. Was this what it was like for her four years ago when she last visited?

It all felt rather awkward. I didn't want to be all excited about my success with weight loss when she had gained so much. So we didn't mention it and talked about other things.

The other things is what I'm feeling sad about. We've grown in different directions. Her interests seem different from mine. I wonder if it makes her sad, too? We're going out again tonight. Maybe last night was just first night jitters.