I arrive at work. Thankfully, no Valentines goodies in sight.
The boss arrives. He's placed something on a table. I glance over and see a gold box.
The boss announces that there's Valentines treats. Nobody moves.
The boss opens the box.
A coworker saunters over and takes a foil-covered chocolate. Aha. I know what I'm up against.
Another coworker takes one. I sip my coffee and watch him out of the corner of my eye. I know for a fact he doesn't wash his hands after using the washroom.
Still sipping coffee. The voice of logic tells me that the chocolates are foil-wrapped so technically they're safer from unclean hands.
I walk past the box. It's Lindt chocolates. I whisper to them, "You have no power over me."
They have power over me. But I'm still not succumbing.
I've convinced myself that my unclean coworker touched every single one of the chocolates and that foil-wrapping is porous.
There's six chocolates missing from the box now. They must have disappeared while I was fixing the boss's laptop. I idly wonder if there'll be a break out of gastro-intestinal illness in the office soon.
A coworker tells me to take a chocolate home to my husband. I ask if any of them are white chocolate. She tells me I should eat one and find out.
I am not eating one.
I'm sipping water and haven't glanced at the box in almost an hour. I'm staring at it now because I swear it's staring back.
I remember that I have a small piece of 65% Madagascar dark chocolate in my purse. Who needs a big ol' piece of germy chocolate from a communal box?
I get up to refill my water and do a head count. There's seven missing. Where are they going?
I'm eating carrots and hummus. My coworker comes to my desk to ask what smells so good. Certainly not a boring ol' box of chocolates, that's for sure.
Aha! I finally catch someone taking a chocolate. I need more exciting coworkers.
They're disappearing like hotcakes. One more gone. Twelve minutes to go.
Success! I'm tempted to stand by the box and do a z-snap except there's coworkers everywhere. I z-snap in my mind instead.